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Sex Dolls - Sex Toys 101

Sex dolls. Blow-up Bettys. Inflatable girlfriends. If you’ve encountered one, chances are it was at a frat party or some similar event. Many people consider sex dolls a novelty or a joke, suitable for blowing up and tossing around in the crowd at soccer games, or using as a raft in the pool. But consider this: some high-end sex dolls cost up to $7,000. That’s no joke. Why would anyone shell out that much for a fuckable mannequin? Let’s take a closer look at the world of virtual lovers and find out.

Blow Me (Up)

We’ll start with what everybody’s already familiar with: the classic blow-up doll. Take the bottom of the line model, a simple vinyl or PVC number with no extras that you can pick up for $15 or less. This really is only suitable as a prop for bachelor parties and the like. Or as a companion for very sad, very broke, very hard-up men. Or as an extra “passenger” to get you through the carpool lane. Of course, the packaging for these sex dolls usually features a photo of a luscious real woman, but if you believe the contents of the box bear any resemblance to an actual flesh-and-blood model or porn star, I’ve got some prime swampland in Florida to sell you.

Perusing the selection of sex dolls online, you’ll notice there’s a big price gap between the lowest-priced models and the next tier up, which go for around $100 to $200. Why the increase when these sex dolls look as shockingly grotesque as the cheaper ones? These babies come with exciting features that add to your pleasure – vibrating pussies, Cyberskin mouths, inflatable vaginas. Of course, all this hardware is still mounted on the same basic inflatable chassis, maybe dolled up with a more humanoid face and some “real” hair.

To really start getting something you can grab a hold of in the sex toy department, you need to shell out a few more bucks…like maybe $300 or so. For that much you can get an inflatable doll with added features to make her more fuckable – plus, she’ll be better constructed and made from sturdier material, like latex, that will actually support your body weight, provided you’re not as chunky as, say, Michael Moore. These premium sex dolls also often have fully sculpted mannequin heads and more realistic breasts. The manufacturer might even throw in a floor pump in the bargain, so you don’t have to huff and puff to get her inflated.

You’re In Solid
To truly experience the ultimate sex doll experience, however, you’ll need to take out a small loan. Solid silicone sex dolls are the Cadillacs of virtual lovers, and they cost almost as much as a Caddie. These models are full-sized replicas of real women, molded from solid but soft and fleshlike material. Some makers let you customize your doll’s body type, breast size, hair and eye color, etc. You can design your dream girlfriend, or replicate your favorite ex.

Investing in a top-of-the-line sex doll is a bit of a commitment. Moving and storing the doll may be an issue; these things are the same size and weight as an actual human being, so it’s kind of like having a dead body around the house all the time. Of course, for those who want a long-term relationship with a partner who never nags and is always ready for sex, it may be worth it. Think about how much you might spend on your girlfriend or the women you date over a ten or 20 year period and do the math. Buying a $5,000 sex doll might actually save you money, plus a lot of time and aggravation.

Pocket Pussies
Since most of us can’t afford, and don’t really need a whole silicone fembot, how about we just concentrate on the good parts, like the pussy and ass? Fake pussies, or pocket pussies, are a much more reasonable and viable alternative for those on a budget or those who just feel too ridiculous blowing up a sex doll and humping it. Of course, fucking a disembodied vagina or butt is kind of weird in its own right, but when you get right down to it, after a certain point isn’t that where all your attention is anyway?

If you’re interested in getting your own little piece of faux tail, we suggest you avoid the cheaper rubber models, and head straight for the silicone or Cyberskin models. Cyberskin and its cousins provide an amazingly fleshlike feeling. They’re soft, stretchy, and have a texture that feels eerily like human skin. Cyberskin pussies are often pretty realistically modeled, but it’s probably more the feel than the look that you’ll be interested in, and these babies can feel like the real deal. Throw in a little vibration or some noduled passageways, and maybe they feel better than real. If you want to be a star fucker, you can get a pussy molded from your favorite porn queen, like Tera Patrick, Julie Ashton, or Jenna Jameson.

All in the Hand
Scaling down even further in the spectrum of pussy simulators, we have masturbators and sleeves, such as the Fleshlight. These are handheld devices made of silicone, jelly, or Cyberskin that fit snugly over the penis. Rather than fucking them, like a fake pussy, you basically jack off with them, moving them up and down your cock. The effect is similar in both cases – your cock feels like it’s surrounded and being squeezed by a pussy or ass. Masturbators have the advantage of being economical and compact. Many feature realistically modeled details such as pussy lips, and vibrating models are available for extra sensation.

Just Kidding - Maybe
So far we’ve only covered female sex dolls, but there are alternatives out there. We’re not just talking about male sex dolls, although those are certainly available, complete with lifelike cocks in most cases. No, we’re talking about, uh, non-human sex dolls. Like farm animals. Pigs, sheep, cows, that sort of thing. We really assume that these are strictly joke items, but who knows? Some poor Clem from Bumfuck, Wyoming, might be missing Bessie and feel the need for some bovine companionship. There’s also an alien sex doll, for all you X-Files fans. And a number of plus-sized (i.e., fat) sex dolls for full-figured aficionados. Or for you MILF-lovers, how about a granny sex doll with false teeth.

As you can see, sex dolls can be either strictly for laughs, or very serious business. If you’re interested in hooking up with some artificial action, consider what you want from the experience and what you’re willing to pay. Sex dolls, fake pussies, and masturbators can all enhance your solo love life in different ways. Just make sure your expectations are realistic, because often the love dolls aren’t.

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