Ask the Resident (Sex) Advisor
The Resident Sex Advisor answers sex-related questions from college students
I'm going to give everybody the benefit of the doubt and go with option number 2. Your boyfriend is probably just trying to please you and using some manual tricks that he heard about or that worked on his past girlfriends. If that's the case, he gets points for effort, but he needs to do what makes you feel good. He's not going to be able to guess, so you need to tell him and show him.
Do you masturbate by touching yourself? Then show him what you do, show him what feels good to you. Talk to him when he's touching you and tell him what you like and don't like. Take his hand and guide it. Show him where to touch, how fast, and how hard or soft. All women are different. Some like to have their clit stroked firmly and some can't stand to have it touched directly. Some women like steady pressure on their G-spot, some like it massaged vigorously. Experiment and find out what feels best to you.
If the problem is that you're not relaxed or aroused, be sure your boyfriend takes his time and you warm up with a lot of kissing, caressing, and intimate touch. If he's just jamming his hand down your pants or up your skirt, that's bound to be a turn off. Have him stroke your stomach and legs and gently rub your pussy through your panties till you get damp, then you should be ready for more intense finger fucking.
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