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How to Masturbate Without Your Roommate Noticing

Getting off while someone else is sleeping nearby is always a tricky prospect. How do you arouse yourself without arousing your roommate's attention? Here are some tips for masturbating in close quarters.

Assume the position

As soon as you turn out the lights and get under the covers, get yourself in a comfortable position. It should be part of settling into bed, instead of waiting to get in position when you are getting ready to masturbate. Loosen your clothing under the covers, pull up your shirt if you want to play with your nipples. Spread your legs and get your fingers on your clit. Get your vibrator out and between your legs. If you have another preferred way of masturbating, like rubbing on a pillow, get the pillow in place. If you like to jill off while lying face down, then turn over on your tummy. After you get comfy, wait a few minutes before you start rubbing.

Is your roommate asleep?

Obviously, the best time to masturbate is when your roommate is asleep, but how can you tell for sure? Snoring's a good indicator. Guys often snore heavily, but with women it can be harder to know. Listen for a deep, even breathing pattern and the funny little noises people make when their dreaming. Also, if your roomie is splayed on her bed in a weird or unflattering position, if her mouth is open and she's drooling on the pillow, these are good signs she's out cold.

Make small movements

If you're getting off by fingering yourself or rubbing against something, keep your movements small. Try not to move your whole body or arm. Just move your fingers. Leave some space under the covers over your crotch so it's not obvious that your hand is moving around under there. If you're worried about getting caught, masturbate while lying on your stomach or side, especially facing away from your roommate.

Muffle your vibrator

If you're using a vibrator, make sure it's a small, quiet, battery operated model. Multispeed vibrators with a dial control are good because there's no loud "click" when they turn on, and if you're worried about the loudness, you can turn them down to a speed so slow it's a barely perceptible throbbing. Or choose a vibrator with a pulsation mode, which doesn't produce the constant humming that's a giveaway. Also, vibrators covered with jelly rubber or silicone are usually quieter because the soft material muffles the noise. If you need something heavier to absorb the sound, put a thick comforter on your bed, or hold a stuffed animal or pillow over your crotch while you use the vibrator.

Cum quietly

As you approach and reach your climax (or climaxes) try to restrain yourself. Keep your breathing normal (don't hold your breath - that can cause involuntary moaning or gasping). If you find it difficult to keep from groaning, bite down on your pillow or blanket. Brace yourself for your orgasm and try to hold still as you cum. Ride the spasms of pleasure by contracting your internal pelvic muscles, not by thrusting your hips around. After you orgasm, just lay still for a while without changing position. Abruptly moving, rolling over, or getting up will signal that something just transpired. Bask in the orgasmic afterglow discreetly, then adjust your body. Make sure you tuck your vibrator away so you don't wake up with it lying next to you on the pillow.

Other ideas

If you know that you're not going to have masturbation privacy in your living situation and this is going to be an issue for you, be proactive. Tell your roommate that you snore really loudly, apologize in advance, and give her some earplugs to use. You might have to fake snoring the first night or two, but once you get her in the habit of wearing the plugs, you won't have to worry again.

Tell your roommate you can't sleep without white noise playing. Available at places like Sharper Image, white noise machines play a steady static, waterfall, or other noise that will mask the noise of your masturbating.

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