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Ask the Resident (Sex) Advisor

The Resident Sex Advisor answers sex-related questions from college students

Dear RSA,
My boyfriend and I have been fooling around for a couple of months. We really want to go all the way now and have sex, but we can't figure out how to get any privacy. We both live in the dorms and have roommates, and they always seem to be around. What can we do?
Diana, U. of Washington

If either of you has a car, you're in luck. Having sex in the car is your best bet. Just find a quiet, poorly lit spot to park, hop in the back seat and go at it. If you don't have a car, borrow a friend's - and be sure to clean it up afterwards.

If a car isn't available, your next option for a private session is to find an empty practice room, study room, or even a bathroom where you can close the door and not be bothered. Of course, with any of these, you'd be sacrificing comfort for privacy.

If you want to try doing it in your own bed, figure out which of your roommates is the heavier sleeper. Pretend to doze off while cuddling with your boyfriend in bed. Make sure you already have condoms with you so you don't have to get up and find them. When you're sure the roomie is sawing wood, start slowly and quietly touching and undressing each other under the covers. Try not to move or rustle around too much. Fear of discovery can actually be a big turn on, so try not to get carried away. When you're ready, have your boyfriend insert his penis while you are both lying side by side or he is lying on top of you. Then hang on tight and start humping with slow, controlled movements. If you feel like you're going to moan or yell, bite down on the blankets or put your face in the pillow. As long as you don't thrash around too much or groan loudly when you cum, your roomie probably won't wake up. If your roommate does wake up, and you don't want them to know you are having sex, pretend you are just wrestling or having a tickle fight under the covers.

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