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SAT - Sex Aptitude Test

Vocabulary

1. Snowballing refers to which sexual practice?
a) fucking someone with a popsicle
b) having sex in a walk-in refrigerator
c) after a blow job, passing the cum back and forth from one partner's mouth to the other's
d)
jerking off, saving your cum, and freezing it in an ice cube tray

2. Barebacking refers to which sexual practice?
a) unsafe sex without condoms
b) pony play in the nude
c) ejaculating on someone's naked backside
d) intercourse where the woman is on top and rides her partner's cock while yelling "Giddy-up!"

3. Teabagging refers to which sexual practice?
a) ejaculating into someones cup of tea when they aren't looking
b) female masturbation with a soothing herbal teabag
c) placing your scrotum in someone's mouth or on their face
d) soaking your balls in warm liquid

4. Dogging refers to which sexual practice?
a) having sex with a Great Dane
b) intercourse in the doggie style position
c) having sex in outdoor locations where voyeurs may join in
d) barking like a dog during orgasm

5. The Shocker refers to a manual sexual act also known as which of the following?
a) two in the pink and one in the stink
b) two in the coot and one in the boot
c) going to town with one in the brown
d) all of the above


Acronyms

6. The letters MILF stand for which of the following?
a) Men Into Licking Feet
b) Missionary Is Lying Flat
c) Mother I'd Like to Fuck
d) Masturbating Is Like Falling off a log

7. The letters BDSM stand for which of the following?
a) Big Dong, Small Man
b) Bondage and Discipline, Sado-Masochism
c) Big Dicks Suit Me
d) Bend Down and Suck Me

8. The letters DP stand for which of the following?
a) double penetration
b) deep penetration
c) donkey punch
d) dick pump

9. The letters ATM stand for which of the following?
a) Anal Touch Masturbation
b) Automatic Titillation Machine
c) Ass, Tits, Mound
d) Ass-to-Mouth

10. The letter G in G-spot stands which of the following?
a) Girl
b) Grafenberg
c) Genital
d) Glory

 


Analogies

11. Tossing Salad : Asshole ::
a) Condom : Dick
b) Cunnilingus : Pussy
c) Shaving : Pubic hair
d) Blow job : Tongue

12. Dominatrix : Flogger ::
a) Anna Kournikova : Tennis racquet
b) Daddy : Leather
c) Submissive : Kneeling
d) Foot : Fetish

13. Viagra : Sildenafil Citrate ::
a) Levitra : Cialis
b) Ecstasy : Sextasy
c) Spanish Fly : Yohimbine
d) Poppers : Amyl Nitrate

14.  Silicone : Dildo ::
a) Jackrabbit : Vibrator
b) Pegging : Harness
c) Cyberskin : Fake pussy
d) Bottle : Lube

15. Balloon knot : Chocolate starfish ::
a) Masturbation : Ejaculation
b) Dry humping : Intercourse
c) Finger fucking : Deep throating
d) Poonani : Coochie

 


Math and Logic

16. David has a 12 ounce bottle of Astroglide and a 3 ounce bottle of
Anal-Eze. He masturbates 5 times a day, and each time he uses .25 ounces of
Astroglide. He also has anal sex once a week, using .25 ounces of Anal-Eze.
Which of the following is true?

a) he will run out of Astroglide first
b) he will run out of Anal-Eze first
c) he will run out of Astroglide and Anal-Eze at the same time
d) none of the above

17. Jeff, Ron, and Marco are, not necessarily in this order, a top, a bottom,
and a switch. The top, who is the shortest of the three, is from out of
town. Jeff, who is Ron's neighbor, is taller than the bottom. If the three
of go to a sex party held at Jeff's house, which one will definitely not get fucked?

a) Marco
b) Ron
c) Jeff
d) Not enough information

18.  Joyce can reach orgasm in 15 minutes through vaginal intercourse alone.
She can come twice as fast if her clitoris is stimulated also, and if nipple
stimulation is added it will increase the speed with which she reaches
orgasm by another factor of two. If Joyce has a three-way with her husband
and her best friend, and her husband wears a vibrating cockring and bangs
her while her best friend sucks her tits, how quickly will she come?

a) 2 minutes 30 seconds
b) 3 minutes 45 seconds
c) 5 minutes
d) 30 minutes

19. Willie's penis is bigger than Donald's. Albert's penis is smaller than
Willie's, but bigger than Jacob's. Tom's cock is smaller than Jacob's, but
bigger than Donald's. Jacob's meat is bigger than Donald's but smaller than
Albert's. Tom does not have the smallest dick. Albert does not have the
biggest dick. Tom is smaller than both Albert and Willie. Which of them
has the smallest cock?

a) Willie
b) Jacob
c) Donald
d) Tom

20. On Saturday night, Cindy the stripper took home $800. One half of that
amount was from regular tips, and the other half was money she made from
giving lap dances. If she gave 16 lap dances, how much money did she average
per lap dance?

a) $15
b) $17.50
c) $20
d) $25

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