Ask the Resident (Sex) Advisor

The Resident Sex Advisor answers sex-related questions from college students

Dear RSA,
My girlfriend and I are both committed virgins, but we both enjoy heavy petting and fooling around. I would like some tips on thigh fucking, how to bring it up to her, and the best positions.
Ian, Univ. of South Dakota

Ian,
Thigh fucking is a great alternative to full-on intercourse. For those who aren’t familiar with it, this is when your partner squeezes her legs together and you insert your penis between her thighs and thrust, brushing parallel past her vulva and vagina rather than towards it. The friction and squeezing can get both partners off. One drawback of thigh fucking, for those who want to avoid penetration, is that it is so tantalizing close to the act of full consummation. Pulling it off without going all the way requires a lot of willpower, but I’ll leave it to you and your girlfriend to handle that.

Missionary position (woman on the bottom, man on top) can work for thigh fucking, but it isn’t the most comfortable, as it requires the man to sort of straddle the woman’s closed legs. A side-by-side position might work better, where you each lay on your sides, either facing each other or spooning, so you press into her from behind. If you are about the same height, a standing position may work, with her leaning against a wall or counter. If you’re feeling wild, you might try a variation of doggy style, either with her on hands and knees, or laying face down with a pillow under her tummy to elevate her butt.

To get the most out of thigh fucking, have her cross her ankles to get the maximum pressure between her thighs. Using a water-based lube will make things slipperier and enhance the experience for both of you. Just slather some on your cock and/or on the insides of her thighs. While you’re thigh fucking her, use the shaft and head of your penis to brush against her pubic hair, vulva, and clitoris. Let her grind against you. Finally, this might seem unnecessary, but wear a condom while thigh fucking (this means you definitely need to use some lube). Even though you’re not penetrating her, your cock will be getting very, very close to her vagina. Because you’re young and your sperm are plentiful and strong swimmers, if your semen or even your precum gets into the opening of her vagina, there is a chance that one of the little guys will score a home run and knock her up. It’s a long shot, but better safe than sorry. I know that some people might argue that wearing a condom while thigh fucking might make it more tempting for you to take the next step to full insertion. But hey, that temptation is there anyway, so if you’re going to succumb to it, you might as well prevent an unwanted pregnancy.

As to how to bring up thigh fucking with your girlfriend…I assume you guys have already gotten pretty far into each other’s pants by now. Tell your girlfriend there’s a way for you to fool around that’s really close to having sex, but safe and doesn’t involve any penetration, and it’s something that you’ll both enjoy. You guys probably dry hump (rubbing against) each other anyway, so say it’s like that but much better. In fact, while you’re dry humping might be a good time to bring it up.